I know what I am about to say may be a complete generalization as I have only worked for one non-profit. Maybe, folks could help validate or correct with their own experience.
My first week of work I was asked to go for a day of training to determine my color type. Green represents the critical thinkers, yellow are the organizers, orange are the adventurous type and blue are those with good people skills.
It came with no surprise that I was a yellow in the sea of blues. As the quiz pointed out, blues think with their heart. Their non-confrontational nature make them a good companion. However, their nonchalant and care-free attitude make them difficult to work with. I stored what I heard away, thinking how could we just generalize people into a simple quadrant like this.
To my horror, the training was really a beware. Only a few days into work, I discovered some of the folks I work with have trouble with follow-up, can’t handle structure and have a tendency to use their people skills to ease around responsibility. That means they would cancel on an appointment without the professional courtesy of informing you. They go on vacation during peak season and you are left to handle all the work from scratch.
We are all colorful people, but I think there is something to be said about an ability to control how we display our colors. Right now it means how to suppress a steamy hot face.
Most people go for the 10-year mark, but I will do 5. I say you don’t want to deal with too many disappointments all at once. If time travel works, here is what I would say.
1. Look after yourself.
If you see more skin on your head after you shower. You are going bald. If there is a lot hair on the bed sheets in the morning when you wake up. You are going bald. If your friends tell you to get rogaine and you become bitter. You are going bald. The fact is 2/3 of men go bald between age 30-35, much earlier in my case. Pathetic gene, F&*&*Do something about it. Don’t wait for all your hair to fallout to start treatment. Try Rogaine. Try hair thickening products like Nioxin and Lemon Sage.
2. Collect friends at work.
Most will shift focus to career building, but you will, at some point, switch career and need the connection. Not that you make friends with that intention but relationship is important. Hang out. Have fun. Be with positive and fun loving people.
3. Do yoga, meditation, tai chi or any natural healing exercises to strengthen your mind and immune system.
Most cells in your body will change after some period. You change every 7 years (0-7 Years, 7-14 Years, 14-21 Years, 21-28 Years, 28-35 Years, 35-42 Years, 42-49 Years, 49-56 Years,56-63 Years, 63-70 Years, 70-77 Years, 70-77 Years, 77-84 Years). Your hair will start to thin at age 26 and will regrow in unwanted places. Nature can be so cruel.You will lose physical strength, the digestive system will start to have malfunction and you will get sick more often.
4. Attend big events.
Even if the airplane ticket ends up costing you thousand of dollars – fly back. Be with people on their wedding day. It is more important than you think. The amount of love you give is the amount of love you get. That is the downside to the Foreign Service.
5. Plan ahead
If you work for the federal government, a tentative offer is not a job offer. Make sure you get a firm handshake before resigning. A lot of things could go wrong in between. Sometime it is beyond your control, but for the things within your control, make doubly sure that they are well taken care of. ShitThings happen, move on.
6. Don’t be so critical.
Tough love is not necessary good. People don’t respond well to it. It’s better to mind your business. People won’t thank you for your constructive criticism. Leave them the heck alone. Take off the maturity hat. Focus on yourself. Laugh more.
7. Read more.
Read at least one book a month. Take more photos. Start an online journal/website. Enjoy your travels more. Reading will enrich your personal and professional life.
8. Join Toastmaster.
Don’t underestimate the power of public speaking, especially in your line of work. There is room for improvement, actually quite a lot, and Toastmaster helps.
There are no more nugget of wisdom, except it becomes acceptable to talk about yoga and hair care with your guy friends. Five years from now, you and your bald friends may even exchange text messages about the latest hair care products and think nothing of it. That is something you get to look forward to. Enjoy your life, man!
Long distance relationship is hard. Special days and events make it even harder. The reason is because you can’t be there and that makes you feel guilty. Gift giving becomes a way to compensate.
My girlfriend’s birthday was 8/22. I gave it some thought, decided against jewelry for two books (one for her and one for me). The book is entitled “Nothing to Envy” and it captures the normal lives of North Koreans as told by the defectors themselves. It also highlight well the social cultural norms of family and government ties to give us a good insight on the minds of those who have gone though famine and persecution. I also pressed rose petals between the pages so that she could use them as bookmark.
People think history is a bad choice because it sounds boring and unromantic, but I disagree. You can use history to analyze the past to predict the future. That way there is no need to repeat the same mistake. I hope I am right. (biting nails)
Something happened today that made me act like a mad man. I was pounding my chest, fist-jabbing my gut and slapping and tapping my body from shoulder to toe as hard as I could. It was bizarre. Yet, for a good 45 minutes I kept pounding and jabbing away.
Hippocrates, the father of medicine, said “all disease begins with the gut”. The Greek physician said this 2,000 years ago but modern medicine is just now beginning to understand how right he is. That was what the yoga instructor told us while we were jabbing our stomach to exercise the intestine.
At this point, you are probably thinking what kind of yoga teaches people to punch themselves in the gut. According to the founder of “The Solar Body,” trees, birds and fish rely on their inborn ability to sustain life naturally. You and I, as human beings, are an intrinsic part of nature. Like all life on earth, we were born with a built-in system to create health and happiness. Inside us, there is an infinite source of energy and boundless vitality. However, we work our bodies to the point we feel fatigue and stress. We seek help, but unfortunately modern medicine treat the symptoms but not the cause of the problem. We all know it is better to heal from the source.
The Solar Body yoga teaches simple exercises that raise your body temperature, breathing, and observation of your mind to sustain abundant health. The exercises will help boost your immune system in the most natural way. In fact, the most unnatural thing about it might be the way you look while doing it. See below.
Gut jabbing (2 inches below belly button, in yoga is one of the seven main chakras, or wheels of energy throughout the body)
Breath in and suck in gut at same time, then breath out releasing it. This is intestinal exercise
Walk in sunlight, starting with 100 steps and then increase it to 10,000 steps per day
Tap and vibrate your body, go from the shoulders down
Laugh with the whole body for 10 minutes
Open arms, relax and breath and release your chest
Knock feet together to move blood from upper body to lower body (this is particularly helpful for insomnia and fatigue)
Jabbing stomach with a fist while simultaneously turn head to the left and the right will help reduce stress
Exercising using the solar body method for about 30 minutes a day will help revitalize the body from the inside out. You also want to maintain a vitamin rich diet. These are your colorful vegetables and fruits like tomato, spinach and bell pepper. Getting enough sleep is also key.
Remember the gut is the base camp of the immune system. Doing these exercises, you will feel a warm flow of energy going through the entire body. If not, then you need to beat yourself harder, haha. The instructor, also a medical doctor, assured improvement in overall health after about 100 days of continuous practice.
I went to a toastmaster meeting today and delivered my first ever toastmaster speech. The topic of the speech was “How to Deal with Disappointment.” It was not a compete disaster, I think.
According to my critic, my first speech was difficult to follow. I talked a lot about a number of things but did not tie it all together. He was on point. I actually went home and added another paragraph to what I wrote a few days earlier on disappointment.
The first speech was a real eye-opener for me. I discovered that I am not that great at public speaking. It’s similar to recording yourself singing and then feeling uncomfortable as you hear your nervous self struggle to speak for the first time. I also learned that no one is born a public speaker. It is a skill that you perfect with practice.
My dream of becoming a millionaire by age 40 started May 18, 2012, the day Facebook (FB) became a publicly traded company. I poured all my life savings into the FB tickler thinking it would be the next Google, which was trading at an all-time high at about $700 per share that year. My first trading experience was a complete disaster.
May 18, 2012 – I was in Texas with my friend D.W., but spent half of the day on the internet trying to make a purchase. I was unequivocally convinced that FB would be a huge success that I had a purchase order set at market price the morning before. This means that my order could execute at any market price depending on where I was on the queue. I found out about 12 hours later that I had an execution, which is a huge delay for a transaction that should be instantaneous.
FB’s first day of trading was marred by technical glitches that prevented orders from execution. However, I thought it was a positive sign. I thought, FB is so wildly popular that all that unanticipated orders probably jammed up internet traffic leading to a system crash. The reality could not have been harsher. The social media giant ended its first week of trading at $31.91 and then dipped lower into the late-teen range; forcing underwriters to buy back shares to support the price. FB received so much bad press that the verb “faceplant” to describe FB’s performance actually went viral! And in the midst of a highly publicized and troubling IPO opening, Zuckerberg left with his new bride to some mysterious far-away place for their honeymoon.
I was quite bitter with the situation and felt betrayed. Months leading to the big day there were press events and substantial media coverage and lots of communication directly from the source. There was radio silence by the end of the first week and many weeks after that. It was not a pleasant feeling watching a quarter of your lifetime savings disappear in less than a week.
What was more disheartening was facing my family members whom I had convinced into buying FB. I feel as if I have let them down. Despite all the bad press, I held on to my millionaire dream, believed in the company and bought a little more of what little money I had left at $32. Also because I was pot committed. It was an intense couple of months.
Fast forward to summer of 2014, I sold all of FB at high 70s and used all that gains to purchase a single-family home for rent. I have 8 years left to make $85,000, which is about$ 106,000 a year. This is a little challenging now living off of a $994 monthly stipend I receive from the federal government in exchange for my service as an AmeriCorps VISTA volunteer.
The moral of the story is, obstacles and challenges make victory that much sweeter. Set big goals and think about ways to achieve them.
Last week I went to interview for the Jackson Leadership Fellowship. The fellowship is in honor of a political heavyweight, whose 40-year career in public office, serving under 9 different presidents, made him one of the most influential political figures of our time. The man literally had his hand on every issue. He is the main driver behind the Jackson-Vanik agreement. He lobbied for resources to keep the military in business to prep us for victory over the Soviets for which Reagan took most of the credit. He helped Alaska and Hawaii become a state. He made environment and energy a priority.
I came to the interview prepared to take policy questions. Instead I was asked a number of simple questions regarding life, career and everything else in between. I was pushed into unknown territory.
People say the formula for success is timing and preparation. I think small talk should also be emphasized. During the interview, I briefly answer basic questions and redirected the conversation to the nature of Senator Jackson’s leadership. I spent an ungodly amount of time on policy research when, in reality, an ability to tell inspiring fluffy stories is all you need. I learned an extremely important lesson that day. Relatability.
The reason I went through this great length to explain everything in detail is because part of dealing with disappointment is to give yourself time analyze the situation. Figure out what went wrong and look for ways to improve. However, before that can happen you have to allow yourself time to grief. Be angry, be upset, be sad or whatever emotion you have inside. It could take a few weeks for some people to get over their emotions and only a few days or hour for other. The point is, let it all out so that you can begin to analyze the situation with a clear mind. Lastly, think positive, forgive yourself and move on. There is always something positive to be gained from a bad situation. I did not make the cut, but I did learn a lot about one of the finest legislators in U.S. history. The idea of starting a website to facilitate convenient and cost-effective ways to build and exchange knowledge came from the fact that I was not selected for the fellowship.
I encourage everyone to read Kaufman’s book on Senator Jackson. He is an outstanding leader. My hardcover copy is available for trade or purchase and can be found in my bookstore.